Before marriage equality. Before many cisgender, heterosexual people could openly acknowledge a gay or lesbian relative or coworker.

Before “RuPaul’s Drag Race” brought drag into the mainstream. Before Pride was parades and parties — when it was an act of defiance. Back then, the gay club was our refuge, where we danced away fears, losses, and sadness. The Gayborhood wasn’t just a place; it was a sanctuary where we found community, built chosen families, and healed from a world that rejected us.

I’ve lived in a few Gayborhoods — near Christopher Street in New York and just blocks from the Castro in San Francisco. These places gave us belonging when our biological families wouldn’t accept us. But when we insulate ourselves too much, we risk losing empathy for those who aren’t exactly like us.

I remember when we fought for gay rights by presenting sanitized, “acceptable” images of white, cisgender men in polos, arguing, “We’re just like you — give us rights.” Even then, I believed our humanity shouldn’t depend on sameness.

Now, it feels like history is repeating itself in a darker way. I hear conversations like, “We should drop the T. They’re not like us. Trump’s not after us — it’s them.” This rhetoric is dangerous and hypocritical. Trans people were there at Stonewall. They fought for the rights we enjoy today. And now, as they’re under attack, some of our own are turning their backs?

Our strength has always been in our diversity and solidarity. We don’t need to be the same to see each other’s humanity. If we abandon that principle, we risk losing everything we’ve fought for. Let’s remember who stood by us when no one else would. Because when we forget our history, we lose more than empathy — we lose ourselves.

Morgan Mayfaire is the Co-founder and Executive Director of TransSOCIAL, a non-profit serving TLGBQ+ folks in the South. His passion for building acceptance and equality for Trans people in society guides his work in the community.