About three years ago, I was approached by The Our Fund Foundation with an unexpected invitation.
According to CEO David Jobin, I was the “most perfect person” to help launch a new initiative focused on the transgender community. Why me? In David’s words: I’m straight, married, white, mature (a.k.a. “old”), and most importantly, a trusted, longtime LGBTQ ally. And, truth be told, I have a very hard time saying “no” to David.
My first assignment was to get to know the trans nonprofit leaders in Broward and Miami-Dade Counties and facilitate a group conversation about the challenges they face. So, I dove in. I attended a town hall panel at ArtServe, where I quickly realized I might be the only person in the room who fit David’s description. I was well outside my comfort zone, especially when I recognized one of the presenters as someone I had worked with in the past, never knowing he was a trans man. It was a profound moment of realization.
Since then, five dedicated trans leaders have willingly come together in conversation with me. Our meetings have been candid, ongoing, and deeply educational. Through them, I’ve gained not just insight into their work and lives, but also an opportunity to reflect on my own assumptions and role as an ally.
As I continue to listen, learn, and grow more comfortable, I also recognize how much I still don’t know. I’ve learned about pronouns, bathrooms, and sports; about gender-affirming care, workplace discrimination, and the horrific violence disproportionately impacting Black transgender women. I follow the headlines — on legislation, hate crimes, homelessness — and I do my best to stay informed.
But I don’t walk in my trans friends’ shoes. What I can do is walk beside them with compassion, empathy, and a willingness to speak from the heart. When given the choice between being right and being kind, a person rooted in humanity chooses kindness.
A straight ally supports equal civil rights, gender equity, and LGBTQ social movements — not because they have to, but because it’s right. They advocate for others and choose humanity above all else. I don’t know exactly what impact my allyship will have, but I know I’ll stay the course.
Will you join me?
Shelley Goren, a long-time LGBTQ+ ally, is currently a nonprofit consultant. She was the CEO of Gilda's Club South Florida and served as Chief Development Officer for Children's Home Society and Broward House. Shelley is a member of the Fort Lauderdale Community Services Board and The University of Miami Patient and Family Advocacy Committee.
