I recently found myself traveling alone to speak at a conference and looking for a friendly breakfast table.

Spotting a group of “queer-looking” folks, I asked to join them. Shortly after I sat down, someone passing by said, “Misty, I loved your workshop on resilience last year! Are you speaking again this year?” I smiled and replied that I was leading two sessions: one on allyship, and another titled “Understanding Your Trans Clients and Coworkers: The Who, What, Where, When, Why, and the Science of Trans.”

When the passerby left, one of the men at the table said bluntly, “I don’t believe in pronouns.” I paused, debating whether to point out that “I” itself is a pronoun. His colleague chimed in with: “What I don’t understand is why some clients come in as ‘he’ one day and ‘she’ another. I don’t care which you are, just pick one.”

I then asked if they’d ever been close to someone LGBTQ, sharing that I claimed to be “bisexual” for four years, because it felt safer than saying “gay.” I then explained that many trans clients show up in “boy mode” for safety, especially when using public transportation. Like a turtle hiding in its shell, they need protection until it’s safe to emerge. Should we shame them for that? Or should we, with compassion, create spaces where they feel safe enough to try new pronouns and identities?

Unfortunately, transitioning isn’t done overnight, instead it’s a lengthy, difficult, and expensive journey. However, when society embraces gender diversity, it benefits ALL humans. For decades, rigid expectations told men they couldn’t cry and women they couldn’t lead. Trans and nonbinary people challenge those roles every day simply by existing. By stepping outside of these outdated scripts, we’re proving that gender is not destiny, it’s expression. Trans liberation isn’t just for trans people it is a blueprint for human freedom. Every time we resist conformity and live authentically, we create space for others to do the same, including little boys who secretly want to play with dolls, and little girls who really want to play football.

Misty Eyez is a dynamic keynote speaker, educator, and fierce advocate for LGBTQ+ inclusion, known for blending wisdom with wit to transform hearts and minds through authenticity, humor, and unapologetic truth. She currently serves as the Director of three life-changing programs at SunServe, supporting and empowering marginalized communities.