If my boyfriend doesn’t make me cum, should I stay with him?

I’m not saying that we have bad sex, but he doesn’t make me cum. He’s a top and I’m a bottom. I love to take his dick, but he literally does nothing to help me get there. Usually he finishes and then I have to finish myself. Even when I ride him, he just sits there while I do the work for both him and myself. At first, I didn’t really mind because he has a tool that is so worth it, but now we have been together for a while and it’s getting old. I want him to love making me cum as much I love making him cum. Should I leave him?

Dear neglected bottom,

I want you to read this next sentence twice. A closed mouth does not get fed. Read that again.

If you want him to make you cum, then you need to tell him. Especially for a top, do not assume that he knows what you want. He sounds like an ignorantly hung dom top. For all he knows, you don’t even care and are happy with the arrangement. Likely many before you have trained him to believe his piece is enough.

Once you have made it clear what your expectations are, and he still doesn’t want to return the favor, then you can take additional measures. After that, when you have him very close, you bring him just up to the crescendo and stop. Full stop. And when you have gotten yours, then you resume giving him his. Some men need more training than others in this way. It sounds like he’s worth training, so I wouldn’t give up, but I also wouldn’t roll over and not get mine.

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John Porter is an entrepreneur and founding partner at Oasis Asset Management. He has served as a political organizer and strategist within the Democratic Party, as well as serving as an executive board member for the Miami Yacht Club.

The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column is not intended to replace or substitute any financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice.