Boy meets girl. That’s how countless romantic novels and sappy movies usually start. Clumsy boy meets irritated girl, they argue, they split, they realize their love, and violins play.

One thousand, two hundred pounds and four legs.

How ya doing? Everything good? You need anything, something to drink, a plate of food, a hug, just say the word. If you’re here, you should at least be happy about it. As in the new book “Hotshot” by River Selby, there’s a problem if something’s wrong.

So. Many. Forks. You’re glad you’re not doing the dishes at the end of this dinner – but in the meantime, what’s protocol?

The monkeys used to scare you a lot.

One hand over the other.