Trump Completes Comeback, Promises Dawn of Golden Age

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Photo via The White House, Facebook.

Declaring the beginning of a new golden age in America, Donald J. Trump was sworn-in as the 47th President of the United States on Jan. 20 in Washington, D.C.

Bitter cold conditions forced the inauguration inside the capitol rotunda, where former presidents, billionaire businessmen and members of the Trump family gathered to witness the culmination of a remarkable political comeback.

“I stand before you now as proof that you should never believe that something is impossible to do. In America, the impossible is what we do best,” Trump said in a speech full of lofty promises to create a country that flourishes in its freedoms.

“From this moment on, America’s decline is over,” he said.

Diversity, equity and inclusion programs drew rebuke from the new president, who vowed to end what he called “the government policy to social engineer race and gender into every aspect of public and private life.”

In an alarming blow to the LGBTQ community, transgender and non-binary people will be erased altogether.

“As of today, it will henceforth be the official policy of the United States government that there are only two genders: male and female,” Trump said.

Meanwhile, Congressman Mark Pocan of Wisconsin skipped the inauguration to meet with LGBTQ advocates in his district. 

“We will stand firm against any attempt to take away our rights and freedoms during the Trump administration!” said Pocan, co-chair of the House Equality Caucus.

Other Trump edicts included changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, taking control of the Panama Canal and renaming Denali, the nation’s tallest mountain, after former president William McKinley.

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