The Wise Snowy Owl

Brian McNaught has been an author and educator on LGBTQ issues since 1974. Former Congressman Barney Frank said of Brian, “No one has done a better job of chronicling what it’s like to grow up gay."

Since reading “Great Expectations” by Dickens, the character Miss Havisham has represented a person who can’t let go of the past, nor the grievances they engender. She’d been left at the altar by a devious fraud that forever haunted her feelings on love. She left everything as it was on the day of her nuptial, including her wedding cake. Spiders and mice eventually ruled her home.

Normally, when corresponding with someone new, I’ll sign off, “With best wishes.” The second e-mail is signed “With warm regards.” The third exchange moves to “With warmest regards,” and finally, I write, “Love, Brian.” This shakes some people up because the word “love” represents so many feelings, from “I like you a lot,” to “We’re at a very intimate level.”

A friend wrote about a conversation she had with her son regarding the differences between Catholics and Southern Baptists. She told him that Catholics aren’t allowed to read the Bible.

When Ray and I made the decision to have a puppy join us in our final years, we were conscious of the chaos doing so would include. Our floors are covered with large diaper pads and more than a dozen toys. When Sebastian playfully sinks his tiny shark teeth into our arm, or a chair leg there needs to be a toy or chew stick within arm’s reach to distract him.

Sebastian, our Aussiedoodle puppy, arrives this week. He’s named after St. Sebastian, the unofficial patron saint, or icon, of gay men. Perpetua and Felicity are the unofficial patron saints of lesbians.

We just finished crying through the film "Red, White & Royal Blue." But Ray and I cried not because it was a sad movie. It’s an exhilarating one. We cried because it was so perfectly done, and we’re not used to seeing our lives presented so lovingly. We’ve waited a long time for such a film.

Aging can be great fun if we’re kind to ourselves and have a good sense of humor. Frustration solves nothing. Like worry, it’s a waste of time. Also, it’s silly to compare ourselves to people who are older, younger, or the same age.

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