Brian McNaught has been an author and educator on LGBTQ issues since 1974. Former Congressman Barney Frank said of Brian, “No one has done a better job of chronicling what it’s like to grow up gay."
It can take a lifetime to feel that we’re finally in our own skin; that we’ve comfortably grown into the person we imagined ourselves being. Some people feel fully at ease with themselves early in life, but I think that’s uncommon. One important contributing factor is whether we care about what others think of us, both while we’re living and after we’ve passed on.
The governor of Alabama banned my life’s work. Privileged, white, conservative politicians, like Florida’s Ron DeSantis, are trying to prohibit any education on diversity, equity, and inclusion in public schools, from kindergarten on. This is a much bigger deal than you might imagine.
“How did your parents react when you came out?” is the first question I’ve been asked by members of the audience in my 50 years of public speaking.
Lily Tomlin’s 6-year-old Edith Ann character said, “I’ve been told that I’m bossy.”
“The lady in the green blazer said she’s going to throw up when you walk into the room.”
The picture we use to remind us of Harvey Milk is one of him smiling. The photo used to remind us of Matthew Shepherd is that of a beautiful, blond waif. We’re not asked to remember Harvey lying on the floor bleeding out, nor Matthew tied to a fence, beaten and left to die.
“Are you depressed?” Ray asked. “No, why?” “Your voice is low,” he said. “It’s true that my voice is getting weaker. But I don’t think I’m depressed.”
It’s much more fun to talk with older friends about an experience of flirtation than it is about one’s flatulence. Older people compare lists of meds, and tell what joints have been replaced, but we often keep to ourselves other experiences of aging, such as erectile dysfunction and diapers.
In a recent conversation with the co-host of our podcast, Hayley Evans blew me away by talking about the choices women must make every morning on the message they want their clothes and make-up to convey. I’m conscious today of what clothes camouflage my tummy, but my safety isn’t dependent on it.
From Thanksgiving to Christmas, Ray and I nightly watch sappy Christmas movies on Showtime or Hallmark about a straight man and woman who initially irritate one another but find love as they save the family farm, hardware store, or guesthouse in a snowy, picturesque town in Vermont.
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