More than proud to be gay, I celebrate it with gratitude.
Recently, I did a virtual presentation to 60 members of the Boston Prime Timers. I reminded them of the early days of Gay Pride marches in Boston when homophobes threw cherry bombs into our midst and others stood together and yelled “Shame.” The police officers assigned to the event did so with reluctance and some showed condescending smirks.
In the past couple of days, I’ve heard from two women, one of whom was a teacher in a Catholic grade school, who reminded Ray and me of how scared they were to walk with us in the 1977 Boston Pride March and how they felt protected by us. Best day of their lives.
The wonderful words “Gay Pride” have been a lifesaver for millions of Americans, and for those around the world. Hungarian LGBTQ people are now free to march with more safety since their authoritarian president is gone.
When I came out to my folks, and eventually to all of the country in my early 20s, I wasn’t yet proud to be gay. I was scared but faked it until I made it. In the process of becoming proud, I read about all the gay men and women throughout history who struggled to claim their attractions amid pervasive public disbelief and ultimate scandal. Perversion. Conversion.
I have a multitude of reasons to be proud of being gay. I’ve made the hero’s journey daily to embrace pride and to educate others on why the word “pride” is so important. I take pride in that. When I come out without hesitation, I do so with self-confidence. “I am what I am. I am my own special creation.” I take pride in that.
Gay Pride Month should stay the same, but it has evolved, for me, into Gay Gratitude Month. I’m truly grateful to have been born gay. Had I not, I wouldn’t be the guy I am. That sounds trite, I know, but think of the special gifts that come with being gay. I have the ability to merge both the masculine and feminine sides of my brain, giving me a broader and richer perspective of myself, others, and life. That’s a gift. Being gay liberates me to think and live outside the box on what it means to be a biological male. That’s a gift. My hunger for spiritual growth is enhanced by my unique perspective on a higher power that includes being gay. That’s a gift.
I know that other LGBTQ people undoubtedly have very different life experiences and perspectives, and have made many different choices than I have, but that doesn’t impact my celebration of myself as a gay man. I don’t judge them and I don’t accept judgment from them. Gay identity is very personal, as is the celebration of being gay. I wish for everyone the same gratitude I have for MY sexual orientation.
We march to the beat of our own drummer, carrying signs for both pride and gratitude.
