The morning was perfect, beyond any expectation. We went to the orchid show, and we were in a pink-cloud honeymoon that neither of us expected but we both felt intensely for an hour and a half.
“Let’s make this our 50th anniversary celebration,” I said as we walked in. “We won’t let money stop us from having the time of our lives.” And we did on a day we’ll never forget.
“What are you going to do for your 50th?” friends and family asked. Ray and I aren’t party people, nor do we make a big fuss unless it’s about the other. We don’t look for the newest restaurant or event. We’re laid-back family guys. So, how would we make unique our 50th anniversary of being best friends, life companions, soul mates, and husbands?
And then came the orchid show. Why not make it our day of gratitude?
Ray knows a lot more about raising orchids than I do, but he relies on my sense of color. The orchids we chose were exceptionally beautiful and unique. And we hung together, sometimes holding hands, as we made our way around all the vendors’ displays. Typically, we head in separate directions at events and reconnect later. But not this day.
At each small tent, we were among the first to arrive, so it gave us and the vendor time to talk. Ray asked questions about how much sun and water the orchid needed, and I complimented how the person looked, and asked questions about where in Florida they lived. Each vendor allowed us to tuck our purchases away to pick up on the way back. With two of us carrying large loads, it took two trips to the car before we could be on our way home.
“That was amazing,” I said. “It really was,” said Ray.
“We flowed seamlessly.” We did so because of our five decades loving one another. Our magical morning was a manifestation of how we live in sync.
This morning’s glow of love that encircled us as we walked together and bought special gifts to bring home was so calming. We needn’t do anything more to express gratitude to each other and to our higher power for the time we’ve had together.
Fifty years as a gay male couple is worthy of reflection. We’ve had abundant “highs” in our lives together, too numerous to list, and we’ve had some significant “lows.” There were times when we each thought about what we’d take with us to furnish our new, single apartment.
People who claim that perfect relationships are effortless are mistaken, if our 18,250 days and nights together are any proof. Perfect relationships are imperfect and they take a lot of hard work, persistence, honesty, forgiveness, good humor, patience, and open communication. And it all pays off.
The well-known teacher and writer, Joseph Campbell advised us all to “Follow your bliss.” Ray is mine and I am his.
