In her best-selling memoir, “Lips Unsealed,” Belinda Carlisle touches on a number of queer topics, from making out with her friend Alice at the bus stop as a young punk rocker in Hollywood, to hitting the clubs with her gay friends in London.
But it was when her son James (AKA Duke) came out to her at 14 that, oddly enough, provided a sense of security for the rock star.
“I don’t know how he did it, but my kid was already the kind of person I wished that I could have been,” wrote Carlisle. “With a vision of who he was and who he wanted to be, this was one piece of the puzzle he was addressing so he could get on with the rest of his life.”
“I looked at Duke with envy,” Carlisle recounted in the book. “At almost 50, I was still sorting through issues from my childhood. How did he end up this together?”
Fresh off performances in the U.K., Carlisle will receive the Harvey Milk Award at the ninth annual Diversity Honors Saturday night at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. When first announced, the award caught her by surprise, she said, and stirred generational memories of losing friends to the AIDS epidemic, fighting for marriage equality and supporting her son’s coming out process.
“I was actually blessed with a gay son — and when 'Duke' came out to me at 14, the first thing I thought was ‘What kind of world will he have to face,’” Carlisle said. “So, of course as a mother, I stepped up and wanted to be involved with supporting him and other LGBTQ+ people around America and the world. Harvey Milk's legacy as [a] pioneer and inspirational leader continues to have a profound impact on millions through the work of the Milk Foundation, so to be bestowed with their award named after Harvey is an immeasurable honor.”
The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, who shot to stardom as lead vocalist in the all-female band, the Go-Gos, took time out of her busy touring schedule to answer a few questions from OutSFL:
What does being a strong LGBTQ ally mean to you?
I've been an LGBTQ ally for years and years — even in school. A large circle of friends has always been LGBTQ people. I've never given it a second thought using my voice to support the community. When I started losing friends to AIDS, I became even more involved in the community. When my son came out to me at 14, the first thing I thought was "What kind of world will he have to deal with?" So it all hit even closer to home. I will always use my voice to support LGBTQ people wherever and whenever I can.
When you think of South Florida what are some things that pop into your head?
I've been coming to South Florida since the early ‘80s with the GoGos — I've had some really fun, memorable times there. I am looking forward to being back on March 9 at the Seminole Hard Rock!
You’ve written very candidly about your struggles with sobriety. What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction?
There is help out there in the community if you ask for it. Most importantly I would recommend finding a 12-step program — there are meetings, phone lines and people out there who are struggling or have struggled with addiction and who are more than willing to help — they're angels.
Your solo career took off with the song “Mad About You.” Where do you draw the line between mad and genius?
I’m thinking about this question I realized that all the geniuses I know are a bit mad. I can't think of one that isn't, and I mean mad in the best possible way.
When you look at Duke, what traits of yours do you see in your son?
My son has a lot of confidence. Confidence that I always had. Actually we both have the same sense of humor — laughter is vital to life. And never look to be offended, you can look at the same thing and choose to see it differently, we both do that.
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