Is this not a picture that captures pure and total glee?
We brought Sebastian home today after his month with Daniel De La Rosa Dogs in Fort Lauderdale. Sebastian had to be away so that he didn’t jump up on Ray and damage the replaced knee. Daniel is a superb service dog and puppy trainer. The dogs don’t need to stay overnight. Chris, his husband, makes sure they’re well-cared for.
Immediately upon our return from an hour-long training, Ray put ice on his throbbing knee, I took off my clothes, and then Sebastian and I jumped into the pool. He barked at imaginary Iguanas in the trees and pranced around the property to inspect.
Sebastian is now asleep on the sofa, my clothes are back on, and Ray is still icing his knee. We are a reunited and very happy family. What more could you want?
Sometimes people will tell me, “I want what you’ve got.” What I’ve got is a storybook perspective on life. It’s not that things don’t disturb me, but I don’t let them negatively impact my life with feelings of regret, remorse, or depression. It’s a choice that I make that is certainly impacted by having unquestioned love and the meds many people my age take.
What I have physically with Ray and Sebastian wouldn’t change anyone’s life if their perspective stayed the same. There are gay and lesbian couples living in mansions with a pool, a view of the ocean or mountains, an adorable dog that seeks their attention, and an extraordinary spouse who feels lonely and isolated. They don’t care how much money their spouse makes. They can’t help feeling, “This isn’t what I want. I want what Brian and Ray have.” But Brian and Ray just have a different perspective on life.
I have a dear friend whose body is riddled with tumors. She’s a bright, shining star who illuminates a room with her positive attitudes. We talked on the phone a few days ago sharing our thoughts about death, the “need” to live to a certain age, life hereafter, being in the moment, loving kindness, and gratitude. Those are the questions and elements of a life lived in love, regardless of the pain and prognosis.
Ray and I experienced a lot of intimacy with Sebastián out of the house for a month. We held hands more often, I rubbed cream onto his dry legs, and we talked about how fortunate we are that we found each other 48 years ago. There are people out there who if paired with us would make us miserable, because even if you have a positive perspective on daily living, a spouse who ignores you for what they think is most important, and never asks, “Are you happy?” will make you wish you had never met.
Pure bliss doesn’t come from having a puppy in your lap. It comes from being in the moment with gratitude for this experience.
