“Hello. This is Gay Pride month, although I can’t imagine why anyone would be proud to be a homosexual.”

I was 30 on a Miami television show in 1978, soon after we lost to Anita Bryant. 

Why Gay Pride?

“Gay Pride” was a counteroffensive to “Shame on you.” “I’m so ashamed of you.” “You should be ashamed of yourself.” The wagging finger of shame is what we dodged as children, knowing we were different. We each eventually concluded there was nothing to be ashamed of. In 1971, Michael McConnell (first gay marriage) popularized what was considered a radical term, “Gay Pride,” conceived by a gay Catholic priest.

“Why would anyone be proud to be a homosexual?” was not just a question asked by a straight Southern Republican interviewer. Back in the early days of our movement, some gay people also questioned the term.

Here are some of the reasons I’m proud of myself as a gay man.

I survived. I withstood ignorant heterosexual people who said and did awful things. Not only did I survive, I thrived. By the time I came out, I had answered the basic questions I had about being gay. “Is it normal?” “Is it a sin?” Yes, it’s normal in every species of mammals, and the only sin would be not loving ourselves.

When I came out publicly, while a Catholic columnist, I knew deep in my soul that I was a manifestation of God. When Vatican II decided that truth could come from lay people, I knew I was a truth sayer.

Why be proud? I am gay and in a 77-year relationship with God, and in a 49-year romance with Ray. As my mother’s cousin, Sr. Marcella Gardner, said to Mom after my public challenge of the Church as an unapologetic gay man, “Virginia, he’s the same wonderful boy he was yesterday.” And I was, and am, a wonderful, thoughtful, generous boy, who cared for and stood up for others. I was funny, respectful, and kind. Where’s the shame in that? 

Let’s talk sex. I’m proud of being gay because sex for me is an authentic expression of my love for another. Sex is a wonderful treat of nature. My intimacy with Ray, genital or not, is applauded by the angels that surround us. It’s sacred. Everything gay men do sexually, excluding penal-vaginal sex, straight men do too, including anal sex. Where’s the shame in that?

How can any of us not be proud of the gifts given to the world by gay people? We see beauty uniquely through the gay lens we’ve had since birth. How can straight people not feel shame for taking our gifts and then trying to denigrate us?

I’m proud that we’ve survived such cruelty for centuries and reframed our being as something worthwhile and necessary to the world. Who should be ashamed of that, and who should be proud?

Brian McNaught is the author of  “A Prince of a Boy.”