It’s disturbing to hear with increased frequency that Evangelical Christians are disowning their gay and transgender children. They point to their faith as the reason for their actions. “It says in the Bible…”

My mother was a devout Catholic - Confession on Saturday, Mass on Sundays and on Holy Days of Obligation, fish on Friday, Novenas, relics, and the rosary. Her uncle was a priest, and her best friend was a nun. 

My mother was also a devoted parent, grandparent, great-grandparent, and great-great-grandparent. If confronted with a choice between her faith and her family, she readily chose her family. Doing so was an expression of her faith.

Not too long after this McNaught family photo was taken, my oldest brother had divorced his wife and re-married. My older sister divorced and was a single mom of three. My younger sister would be married and divorced twice. I would come out of the closet (Can you tell from the photo?), as would my younger brother, Tom. At my folks' 50th Anniversary home Mass, we all received Holy Communion to the consternation of the priest but not of Mom and Dad.

None of us was told that we were breaking God’s laws. We were told they hoped we’d be home for Thanksgiving. Everyone was embraced, no matter how difficult their life choices made life for my mother. One grandchild ended up in prison and another died of an overdose. Among the great-grandchildren, many were born outside of marriage. It didn’t matter. Each would receive a card on their birthday and a wrapped gift at Christmas.

We learned growing up that “God is love.” Love in our family was more important than any church regulation. That didn’t mean my folks didn’t wish we all would remain practicing Catholics, but they never said anything about it.

With regard to my parents' love for me, it still astonishes me that when I came out to the church in 1974, and was subsequently fired very publicly, I never got the message that I was unwelcome at home despite all of the unwanted attention my being openly gay brought to their lives. There were never complaints, but there were questions. Mother asked, “Brian, what do we tell our friends you do?” And Dad asked, “When are you going to get a real job. You’re wasting your talents.”