Reflecting on My Time Building OutFAU

OutFAU started as an idea between Jason Parsley, me, and Michael Koretzky. I had been a staff writer at the University Press as well as a freelance reporter for OutSFL. Last year was when I noticed the effects of the DeSantis administration defunding DEI efforts in the state university system: our annual drag show had rebranded itself as “Owl Manor” and the Center for IDEAs had quietly shut down over the summer. The University Press had cut down on printing at a time when these stories needed to be told. And not just told, but preserved as a historical record in the way that only an unchangeable print publication can be. 

I have fond memories of writing the first print issue of OutFAU by myself - an issue one of my best friends lovingly named “The Mary Issue.” 

I got a good amount of attention: I was covered in print, TV, and radio. I faced social media criticism from people who considered themselves either more progressive or more conservative than me. I learned how to publicly make mistakes and how to publicly take accountability. 

I also felt like a fraud a lot of the time, dealing with my own mental health issues while trying to be a leader on campus. With the Trevor Project’s 2023 U.S. National Survey on the Mental Health of LGBTQ Young People finding that nearly 1 in 3 LGBTQ youth attribute their mental health being poor either most of the time or always due to anti-LGBTQ policies and legislation, I know that my issues are not occurring in a vacuum. I am an individual, and I am also a part of my community. 

I came out as bisexual a decade ago. I was 16 years old.

When I look back on how I’ve navigated my sexuality, the lessons I’ve learned and the friendships and chosen family I’ve made, I think about high school students now. I think about a prospective student looking up FAU and finding that even under Gov. Ron DeSantis, even in Florida, queer students on our campus carved out a space for ourselves. And I hope they feel a sense of hope.

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