Andrew Zerrato said he would dress as someone once told him, “like a homeless person,” because he wanted to scare people away.
He tattooed his body, got piercings in different places, as a tool of self-defense and isolation.
Now, he says he wants to bring people to him, not push them away anymore.
“One positive [thing] about my body is that it is resilient, survived two suicide attempts and lots of abuse and somehow with pains and limitations I still have full use of it and I love that for me,” Andrew said. “Feels like it held up long enough for me to learn to love it.”
He has struggled with his body image.
“I actually don’t have the best relationship with my physical being. Like I feel like my physical body has brought me a lot of just emotional and hardness,” Andrew said. “Because of that, I have a bitterness towards my body. I love myself, my personality and who I am. I’m trying to kind of put that onto my physical body, but it’s hard when I’m not really a big fan of it, not that I don’t necessarily like the way I look as much as I have this resentment towards everything I’ve been put through because of it.”
Andrew has recently been dealing with chronic illness.
“Every day is just a reminder that I’m in the body that’s not at its most, at its best. So that kind of brings me down. But I take care of it. I take care of it the best I can,” Andrew said. “I workout, I eat right, and all that kind of stuff. Part of me wants to care about my body. I want to because you only have one, and after it’s gone, it’s gone. So I want to learn how to, that’s currently where I’m at in my life, self growth and stuff is how to accept my physical self.”
He says it has given him a newfound understanding of the importance of caring for himself.
“You kind of either forget to or you just choose not to prioritize it, when without it, you can’t really do anything else,” Andrew said. “Learning that lesson now.”
Andrew Zerrato is 31 years old. He is a sophomore psychology major at FAU who is aspiring to become a sex therapist.
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This story is for OutFAU, our student publication covering Florida Atlantic University. To see more from OutFAU click here.
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