For Eytan Deray, coming out was not one grand announcement. It was a gradual process of choosing to accept himself, then bringing that fuller self to the stage.
“Though you come out to the friends and loved ones around you (it was a slow process from ages 19-21 for me), you also come out to yourself,” Deray said. “You make a choice to accept and love yourself unconditionally and without apologies. There’s a liberation and joy to being out and proud that goes unmatched.”
Deray, 31, is a Wilton Manors actor, singer and playwright who has worked consistently in the performing arts for the past decade. He considers the ability to use his voice, in any capacity, one of his greatest blessings and proudest achievements.
That voice is inseparable from his identity. Deray said being gay has allowed him to form stronger, more intimate bonds with his chosen family and approach life with greater joy, kindness, empathy, passion and bombast.
“Though our struggle is real sometimes, queerness is an unbelievable gift,” he said. “Everything I do- the characters I play, the songs I sing, the friendships I make (especially with other queer people)- now means so much more.”
Deray also finds community through a shared love of the strange and spooky. He is a former moderator and active member of Wilton Manors Horror Hunks, Scream Queens, and Occult Non-Conforming, a group for LGBTQ South Floridians who love scary movies and other eerie interests.
His message to LGBTQ youth is delivered like a warm, spirited pep talk. He urges young people to release the pressure surrounding coming out, move at their own pace and remember that their identity is not something to fear or hide.
“Don’t be afraid or ashamed of your inherently queer goodness,” Deray said. “It’s what you were born to be, your nature and your gift. Your light shines brighter than ever, and it’s absolutely beautiful. You have a voice. Use it.”
“The haters won’t understand you, but there is a whole world of people just like you looking to give all their love to you as well as each other,” he said.
Deray hopes to remain a light in Wilton Manors. His favorite quote, from Jonathan Larson’s musical “RENT,” captures the urgency and openness he brings to that goal: “No day but today.”
