During last night’s walk with Sebastian, two young adult males rode by on bicycles, one yelling to the other, “You’re a f*cking man. Suck it up!”
I thought about that this morning as I was reviewing what actresses and Timothee Chalamet wore to the Golden Globes. How can he be anything but stunning? I loved Demi Moore’s gown, too.
They’ve discovered that the active-duty Green Beret Master Sargent who blew himself up in a fiery explosion in Las Vegas left a message on his phone saying that America was headed toward collapse, and he listed as one of the reasons “diversity classes.” It was a strange feeling to be confronted that my life’s work was bringing the U.S. to its knees. He also said that to recover, we needed to focus on strength and winning. “Masculinity is good.” He called for weeding out of government and the military those that don’t believe in such masculinity.
A few minutes later, I saw on Pinterest that there are five tips for appearing more muscular.
No one much younger than me remembers handsome, muscular Lt. Col. Oliver North, who was disgraced by his role in an illegal sale of weapons to Iran during the Reagan administration. Later, when former President Clinton was discussing gay people serving in the military, North said publicly that if that happened, “No real man would ever enlist again.”
When I repeatedly sat in the audience of several hundred allegedly straight college students, faculty, and staff, my stomach in knots because none had ever met an openly gay man, I thought about people who said, “Gay males aren’t real men.” If being a real man meant being strong and courageous, then you walk up on the stage, all by yourself, and tell them that you’re a happy homosexual.
“You’re a f*cking man. Suck it up!”
“What makes a man a man?” Charles Aznavour asks in his song by the same name.
If you look it up on the Internet, the characteristics you see are responsibility, honesty, respect, and emotional intelligence. It says nothing about having “a manly tuft of hair on your chest” as did a profile on actor Steve McQueen. I’m responsible, honest, respectful and have emotional intelligence, and even a manly tuft of hair, but probably not as manly as Steve McQueen’s.
I remember well when the musical “La Cage Aux Folles” drew a packed house of gay men crying, clapping, and singing as George Hearn filled Boston’s Colonial theater in 1983 with the song, “I am What I am.” Albin was a drag queen but sang for us all with Jerry Herman’s words, “It’s my world that I want to have a little pride in. My world and it’s not a place I have to hide in. Life’s not worth a damn ‘til you can say, ‘I am what I am.’”
Suck it up. I’m a f*cking real man.
My new memoir, “A Prince of a Boy” is available on Amazon.
