Is anyone at Disney paying the least bit of attention?
As Carol on “Little Britain” would say, “Computer says no.” Disney’s Pixar title “Inside Out 2” received acclaim and even scored an Oscar nomination but lost to Latvia’s “Flow.” Could it be Disney is too busy focusing on unnecessary live-action remakes resulting in humiliatingly low Rotten Tomatoes scores: “Lion King” - 51, “Aladdin” - 57, “Little Mermaid” - 67, and “Beauty and the Beast” – 71?
The studio’s latest (mostly) live-action venture is “Snow White” (Disney), which is problematic on multiple levels, including the depiction of the seven dwarfs, noticeably absent from the title. The CG beings, with the familiar names Dopey (voiced by Andrew Barth Feldman), Bashful (voiced by out actor Titus Burgess), Grumpy (voiced by Martin Klebba), Sneezy (voiced by Jason Kravitz), Happy (voiced by out actor George Salazar), Doc (voiced by Jeremy Swift), and Sleepy (voiced by Andy Grotelueschen) would be slightly more bearable if they weren’t so creepy looking.
Even though they were excluded from the title, the diminutive septet’s musical numbers, “Heigh Ho” and “Whistle While You Work” are the only ones to survive from the original 1937 cartoon and are the true standouts in this movie. As for the other music, written by the predictable composing duo of Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, who are also responsible for the abomination that is “The Greatest Showman,” as well as “La La Land” and “Dear Evan Hansen,” there’s not a memorable song in the batch. Not even one that you might find yourself whistling while you exit the theater.
Which brings us to the lead actors. Gal Gadot effortlessly embodies the cruel Evil Queen in a performance that borders on OTT drag queen. Her ruthless interactions with the palace guards, her ego-stroking magic mirror, and ultimately her despised stepdaughter Snow White (Rachel Zegler), even when she’s disguised herself as a poison-apple-delivering old woman, are all bone-chilling. As Snow White, Zegler does her best to make the character likeable and worthy of empathy as she survives and transforms into the hero of the story. Jonathan (out actor Andrew Burnap), Snow White’s (eventual) love interest, and the one who delivers true love’s kiss, is less a prince than a prince of thieves, but even he is eventually transformed by love.
At the end of the day, as well as the end of the movie, this age-old story of the wicked stepmother abusing the more favorable stepdaughter may be past its prime and best left to eternal sleep.
Rating: C
