With a TikTok fanbase amazing almost two million followers, Corey O’Brien is hitting the road this season, taking his patented brand of provocative and insightful comedy some of the most conservative areas in the country with The Red State Tour.

Known for his razor sharp delivery, O’Brien is also balancing life with his partner RK Russell and in these trying political times, doing his part to try to hear both sides and at the same time, refusing to dim his light for anyone. I sat down with O’Brien recently to chat about comedy in this politically charged world, knowing when to take some much deserved downtime, and living in his truth is crucial to his comedy and life.

As you hit the road for The Red State Tour, are you afraid entering the lion’s den and taking your comedy to more conservative leaning states politically?

I feel like I'm starting to think, should there be concern (laughs)!? I'm getting that question a lot and to be honest, I'm not that concerned. I'm not going to lie, I really feel like I’m up for the job. I feel like growing up in a small conservative town in Pennsylvania, I grew up in an area where I was the outsider my whole life. I feel really confident about it. It's also not only about spreading queer joy, but like knowing that there's queer people that live in these days as well. So I just feel like it's like I'm also doing it for them.

The crowd work you do at your shows is a very interactive conversation of sorts. I think these are probably going to be some of the most interesting conversations that we're going to get to see live.

I love that. It's always been straight to the point and I’m not afraid of having any uncomfortable conversations. In the last show I had, I put a photo of my ass on the screen; my dad ran out in horror! It is these conversations that I plan on having with people, conversations that I feel like a lot of people shy away from. I know that they could be confrontational, but the thing is, I feel like people have made our existence confrontational. They've made our existence, an issue. They've made our existence political. So I'm like, okay, well, that’s why I'm not fearful of throwing myself into this lion’s den. If every single day I'm judged for who I am, I'm at least going to put a face to the name for all of these people that want to judge.

I'm going to have the conversations because the truth of the matter is that a lot of these conversations are stemming from hate where mine is stemming from the fact that I am a gay man. I know what I'm talking about in that realm and if you want to debate my existence, there’s not much debating because I'm right here thriving. I feel that if someone is paying to come see me, they are willing to at least hear me. So I feel like that’s a step in the right direction. I'm not going to give everyone the benefit that doubt, but if you pay, you get a ticket to come see this very gay man, I feel like you know what you're getting yourself into and I feel like that's a step in the right direction.

Have you always been a provocateur? Have you always been somebody that likes to push that line?

I feel that I put myself in a box growing up because I didn't want to get made fun of; I didn't want people to notice me. I dimmed my light, I was less gay, I was was quiet. I really didn't want to be out there. I didn't want to be noticed. And as the years went on and as I got sober at 21, I realized that no one treated me worse than I treated myself because of who I am. So I when I started to really just love myself and be proud of my existence, I started realizing, “Oh, I have something to say.” I also I don't want anyone else that has gone through what I've gone through to feel the way that I've felt. I feel like that's when I started realizing, “Okay, I just want to be the person that I wish I had when I was younger.” If I was able to go in the back in the past and just hug myself and tell myself it's going to be okay, I really do believe that my outlook on life would have been a lot different.

It’s also sometimes better to not let our parents know how tortured our existence may have been during those years, you know?

Yes, my dad actually saw a video of mine that went viral recently and the majority of the hundreds of thousands of comments were just homophobic slurs. My dad's first reaction was “Why do you do this to yourself?” I said “What, exist?” I used to think it was my fault. So now, I've completely just come out of my shell and just lived in my truth and I just want other people to feel that as well.

Your videos get so much attention and I think a lot of the reason is because it's very funny. It's very sardonic and there's just a hint of tongue and cheek, but they're ultimately so honest. When did you really see and get to notice the impact you were making in these videos?

I'm not going to lie, it still is wild to me because it is on social media. I just feel like, you know, I just post it and go about my day, I don't have a million people at my door like "Wow that video!” I feel like when I started getting pushback on my videos, that was also a sign I was doing something right. I don't want everyone to agree with me; I want to push change. and I realize I can do that just by being myself. That is when I really started seeing people reach out to me and just tell me that they they're inspired or it means a lot for them that I'm speaking my mind or I'm just at least shedding light on something that once brought them a lot of pain or suffering.

You and your boyfriend R.K. Russell, (the NFL's first openly bisexual player) are a gorgeous couple and you look so happy together.

Thank you. I hope I look happy and I actually more importantly, I also feel happy. I think having a partner is and having that permanent person in your corner, I know for me, it's just the absolute best thing, you know? It really is having your own personal cheerleading squad.

What is something that that he does that just pushes you to be your best self?

I love that you said that because I talk about that with like my close circle all the time. I really believe that finding self-love is the most important thing, but I would be lying if I said like his acceptance of me and all of me hasn't led me to that as well. To have someone in my corner that loves everything about me, especially things that I was once taught to feel shame around, has now just like completely transformed my mind. I'm just like, “Oh my God, I think I'm really good at everything now when in reality it's like, “Okay, slow your roll” (laughs). He has just been such a great support system for me and I love that he allows me to be me, just like I allow him to be him.

We're a unit, but we have our separate lives, our separate desires and things that we like to do and we and we are still are our own individuals. But this unit, this partnership that we have, is something that I've never experienced before. I didn't know love could feel safe like this.

There is something to be said about having your own unique interests as well.

I didn't know, especially before getting sober, what safety and healthy relationships look like. With 12 years of sobriety, being in this relationship for five years, I'm like, “Oh my God, this is what peace feels like.” You get to wake up every single day and just not be fearful or just like have a pit your stomach. Plus, I say it all the time to anyone who listens: separate bedrooms is the most amazing thing in the world. I live by separate bedrooms and so does Will and Jada! You get in the middle of bed and stretch out…I love a little murder documentary, you know we we live our lives.

What do you guys do when you're not on the road when you're not on stage? What does downtime look like for you?

I love Malibu. The summer that we met five years ago, we spent pretty much every single day at Point. We also love trying out new restaurants, he’s definitely a foodie. He's introduced me to a lot of amazing foods because my palate is very bland. I honestly just like laying low, staying home, working out, boxing and hiking, spending time with friends. It's very much like when we are not working, we really like to disconnect. To be honest, it’s hard for me to really disconnect but I try; I tried for him.

I'm working on it because honestly, I don't really like disconnecting; I like what I do. Work for me is fun, this stuff is exciting. He has such an amazing way of disconnecting, especially I think that's just all his years playing in the NFL. When he's on the field, he's on the field, when he's home, he's home and so he's just great at it and I'm not because I don't want to be, but I'm trying.

Going out on the road and being an out loud and queer comedian doing what you're doing. Are you looking at it now as an act of defiance in this country?

Absolutely. I just want to hug everyone and tell everyone and tell them to just keep going because I absolutely agree with you; it is an act of defiance. It also is this mindset that people had when someone won the election. It was like this thought that we were all going to now cower and go back into the closet. It was just this feeling of what's next? I just knew that I didn't want to live in that fear. I understand rightfully so, the people that are living in that fear because of the things that are happening. I just wanted to see someone that was going to help inspire those in my community and I wanted to, get out there and just let them know. I'm not going to hide, and I don't want anyone else to.

What's the best advice you ever got and who gave it to you?

When I was in rehab 12 years ago, my therapist told me, “You're really not that important.” I didn't understand what she meant. I took offense to it. When I sat down with her she said, “The thoughts that you have about yourself and about what people think about you – they’re not thinking the same way that you're thinking about you.” I think that when I actually dissected all of that, I realized that I've lived my life for other people and what they were going to think of me. In reality, they really weren't thinking about me as much as I was thinking about myself. Once I started to let go of that and try not to take life so seriously is when I was able to uncover who I really was. When I actually really went into the depth of it, I was like, “Oh, this makes so much sense!”

Follow Corey O’Brien on Instagram @corey_obrien